Is "Better" Really Best?

I was listening to K-Love on my way back to work today after going home for lunch (got to let my Chihuahua – BoBo out every day at noon). I heard just a piece of a commentary that started out something like “It isn’t really a good idea to ask for things to be better all the time,” or words to that effect.

That caused me to start thinking about the idea of what “better” means. Some synonyms for the word are: enhanced, improved, superior, in good health and recovered. All of those things seem like really good ideas. But I believe the thought the gentleman on the radio was trying to convey was that our idea of what “better” is does not always match God’s idea. I’ve had some experience with that concept before.

As I have already said, I am a recovering alcoholic and have struggled with it for years, since about 1997. I have also had problems with prescription drugs, for even longer than that.  Several years ago, I was attending a Pastor and Spouse’s Retreat on the beautiful Oregon Coast. I got up early one morning and went to the beach for my quiet time. I brought my Bible, two or three of my favorite devotionals and my journal and writing materials. But I ended up not opening even one of them.

As I sat on some rocks and just enjoyed the beauty and the morning (one of those extremely rare nice days on our wild Oregon coast), I was struck anew by the supremacy of God. As I watched and heard the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore, I instinctively knew He was able to do all things. I began communing with my God, and felt His presence in an unusual way.

Emboldened, I decided to ask once again for my heart’s desire – for Him to remove my desire for using drink and pills. I heard Him begin to speak to me – perhaps not in an audible voice, but as clearly as I can hear someone across the room. His words to me were these: “Daughter, look around you and listen. See the beauty I alone created, notice the subtle colors that man cannot recreate, and hear the roar of the surf. Now, do you REALLY believe I have the power to heal you of this affliction?”

I became very excited. I was sure my faith had simply been weak before, and looking around, I KNEW with everything within me that He absolutely had the power, authority and ability to finally heal me. I raised my hands in ecstatic joy and shouted “Yes! Yes! I believe. I truly believe!” And I waited for it to happen.

So imagine my distress when I heard His voice again. Much quieter this time, asking me this question: “So knowing I have the POWER to heal you, will you still trust me when I tell you I’m not going to?”

My shock was overwhelming. I remember falling to my knees and whispering “But why?” There was no response. Finally I realized He was waiting for my answer. And because I didn’t want to lie to God, I stopped and really considered His question before giving Him my answer. Would I still trust Him, knowing His choice was not to heal me, though He had just dramatically revealed to me that He certainly could.

And in a singular moment of clarity, I made my choice. I chose to trust. I told Him, in a voice that was broken and pitiful, “Yes, Lord, even then. I choose to trust you.”

I wish I could say that my life got a whole lot “better” after that. But it didn’t, because even though I really did choose to trust Him that morning, and have continued to do so with surprising consistency since, I continued to make other decisions that were wrong, and have suffered the consequences.

However, I can report that His judgment, while not seeming so at the time, has turned out in a most excellent way. I would not be who I am, or have the beautiful and sweet relationship with my Lord that I do, if I had succeeded in forcing my will that day.  I would not have the ministry or the heart of compassion I do as I embrace those who suffer with this terrible disease, if I had not let the King of Kings rule and overrule.

So, “better” is NOT always best. But God’s choices for us are always perfect and incomparable.  I desire to continue trusting Him, as He chooses my daily path. May you find peace and joy if you decide to trust Him with everything, as well.

Love from Caro