My Two Mothers

My Mother died almost 10 years ago, shortly after 9/11. Since her birthday was September 11th, she found the trauma of that day to be particularly painful and made the comment that she never wanted to have another birthday. She got her wish, as she passed on November 14, 2001.

I wish I could say I was close to my Mom, but the truth is I was not. She was a very wounded lady and though she tried hard, and in her own way was a good Mother, the fact is that she in turn wounded me severely. Only been later in my own life did I begin to understand that she DID love me, and that she was not only doing the best she knew how to do, but was in fact acting out of her own hurts and injuries, which were received from her own Mother (who had of course, been wounded by her Mom). And the cycle just spun on and on.

I was determined to break that cycle and I believe, to a great extent, I was able to. I have two fine, grown children who married Christian spouses and have presented me with a mother's most precious possession - grandkids! Six of them. I enjoy a sweet, close and precious relationship with my children, my in-law children (whom I claim as my very own) and each of those wonderful grandchildren, ranging in age from almost 8 to almost 15.

So do you want to know the main reason that I was able to parent so much better than my own Mother? Because God, in His loving wisdom and kindness, blessed me with a second Mother. My dear Mother-in-Law, Dee, who has been part of my life for over 40 years has graciously and lovingly filled those gaps left by my own wounded mom. It was Dee, who taught me how to keep a house, how to parent with firmness interwoven closely with love and how to be a loving wife. It is Dee who to this day, is my close confidant, and who expresses faith in me, in spite of my weaknesses and failings, in spite of the havoc my disease of addiction has wreaked on our family. I thank my Lord for this Godly woman who has reached out to me and made me her daughter.

This morning in church I celebrated both of my Mothers. Our church has two services and since I am the pastor's wife, I go to both. In the first service, during communion, I reflected on my biological Mom. I wished I had gotten known her better as an adult, understood her hurts and pain more fully and been able to be a comfort to her. I thanked God that in spite of her problems, she raised me to know Him and was the first to instill a knowledge of the love of God in me. And I finally forgave her, completely, for all the mistakes she made with me, and the hurts and problems those mistakes have caused in my life.

The second service, which my dear Mother-in-Law attends, was joyfully spent with her. I sat by her, hugged her and told her I loved her. And during communion, I laid my head on her shoulder and she held my hand, and we celebrated Jesus' gift of salvation together. Dee is not a demonstrative person, but she willingly reached back to me when I reached for her this morning and I relished her touch.

Thank you God, for being so wise and for giving me 

Two Mothers. Each one is special to me and 

each one has served your purpose. 

I love both and am so grateful that you 

loved me enough to create Mothers.

Happy Mother's Day everyone - and blessings on you all.  Caro