Waiting is absolutely, positively the hardest work I do. I hate it. Just give me the facts, tell me what I’m facing and I can likely deal with it – whatever “it” is. But the waiting game is really hard. I suspect I’m not alone in that.
As I mentioned in my last post, my husband, Cliff is facing some health issues. We met with the cardiologist earlier this week, and guess what we found out? That we have to wait awhile yet before we know what is really going on. It could be minor or it could be quite serious. He could end up with a simple procedure or he could end up with open heart surgery. And there is nothing we can do except wait and see what the angiogram reveals next Wednesday.
Sigh. Did I mention I hate waiting? But I have decided to try and do it with at least a modicum of grace. Partly, I find a lot of my time is being spent in providing reassurance for Cliff. He is struggling with all of this, especially since he watched his own father suffer with cardiac artery disease. And partly, I am simply trying to remember that no matter what is going on in my life, I don’t have to deal with it alone.
I have so much support through all of this. My work place has been extremely understanding, giving me time off to go to appointments whenever I needed them, even on a moment’s notice. People have stopped by my office to lend support and offer their prayers. And I work at a state agency, so that is pretty amazing. My church family has rallied around us, not only praying with us, but making us laugh, taking us to dinner and just showing Jesus’ love to us. My recovery friends have stepped up, making sure I am taking care of myself, as well as my husband, and helping me stay on track. And I have even been given support from totally unexpected places – like another website I write for – one that is not Christian based at all – but is a website where we share stories – anonymously. People I have never met and never will have promised their prayer support and offered to just listen if I need someone to talk to.
And then there is scripture. I have spent some time looking through the Psalms, trying to find out what God’s word has to say about waiting. Ps. 5:3 says, “In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Ps. 27:14 tells me to, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” And Ps. 130:5 encourages me with these words: “I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”
So, I am doing my best to choose to wait, if not patiently, then at least with the hope that He knows all about this situation. I will lay my requests before my Father, the King, and take heart as I wait for His perfect answers.
But, just for the record – I still hate waiting!
Thanks for listening. Caro
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