Comments from Caro

What I am Not

I am not perfect (ok, anyone who knows me at all can testify to that). But I also am not the complete and total failure that my inner person often wants to convince me I am.

I am not very tall and I’m totally okay with that – I kind of like it down here. I am not getting any younger, and I’m also ok with that. I was asked recently if I’d like to live my life over again and I answered with a resounding – No! Even if I knew then what I know now, I still have no desire to do it all again.

I am not discontent. I am not always ecstatically happy, but I am usually at least at peace these days.

I am not my disease. Just like a cancer victim is not “cancer” – I am not alcohol. Alcoholism is something I have, not who I am.  

And I am not responsible for other people’s happiness. This is the real crux of my post today. I struggle with a lot of things, but as I am finishing up my 8th and 9th steps in AA, I am also embarking on the steps in the Codependent No More Book/Workbook. And I am beginning to finally get to the root of some of my very deepest issues.

What a journey God has me on! Sometimes I have to remind him that I get tired and a little cranky at everything he seems to want me to be learning, and did I mention I’m not getting any younger? And he gently reminds me that he knows all about that and this is the path he wants me to take anyway.

I am not the sum of all my mistakes. But I am daughter of the King, and the King loves and cherishes me very much indeed. For today, that is more than enough.

Thanks for listening. Caro.