Hi friends. I know it has been a long time since I posted, and a lot has happened since then. As I said earlier, my husband Cliff had open heart surgery on October 10th. He came through it beautifully and was discharged on the following Sunday, October 16th. All went well on Sunday evening and Monday. But early Tuesday morning, the 18th, at around 5:30, he developed sudden severe breathing problems. He was gasping and very pale; he simply could not breathe. I called 911 and they took him to our small local hospital in Astoria, Oregon. After a CT scan the diagnosis was two pulmonary embolisms that had traveled from his leg to his right lung.
They prepped him to be life-fighted back to Oregon Health and Science University in Portland. It was then the doctor pulled me aside and told me to call the family in; that Cliff was in critical condition and there was a better than even chance he would not live. His mother and our children stood with me around his bed and tried not to weep while we said what we prayed would be temporary goodbyes. As the helicopter lifted off, we headed to Portland as fast as my son-in-law could drive. Let me tell you, that drive was the longest two hours of my life.
Well, dear friends it has been a very emotional up and down week, but God blessed us once again and he survived the flight. Though he was critical for a few more days until they could get him stabilized, he is now “out of the woods,” and expected to make a good recovery. We are still at the hospital waiting until his blood thinner medication (Coumadin) reaches therapeutic levels, which could be several more days yet. He is getting stronger everyday and is breathing on his own now. He will have to remain on the Coumadin for the rest of his life, but that seems a very small price to pay.
You may be wondering about the title of today’s blog. A day or two ago, our daughter, Aimee, was in the room with us just after we got some coffee. She, like me, enjoys her coffee sweetened and with cream and was asking if anyone had some sweetner. As we searched, but came up empty-handed, her beautiful smile suddenly lit up the room when as she reached into her pocket, and held up a handful of the little yellow Splenda packets. “Oh look,” she said, “I’ve got a pocket full of Splenda.”
When I heard her say those words, I loved the sound of them and my imagination went into overdrive, wondering how I could use them. As I was praying later, thanking God once again for his grace and mercy to us, those words popped back into my mind. I could just see God smiling at me with his gentle compassion. I seemed to hear him tell me that not only was he pleased with my joy, but that he had a lot of other wonderful surprises in store. I could picture him telling me, “You should see MY pocket full of Splendor!”
I fully understand that God chose to intervene in this situation in a mighty way and the result is Cliff’s life was spared and his health is slowly being restored. But I am equally aware that at times God’s will doesn’t match our desires and it can seem harsh and unloving when that happens. I would guess those of you who have gone through the pain of losing a spouse must wonder why some live and some don’t. I have no answers. But I do know the one who does and I know he is trustworthy and faithful. As I have walked this road of recovery and discovery this week, I have become more and more convinced of that. Had Cliff died, I know it would have been a struggle to continue trusting, but I am also persuaded God would have held me close to him throughout the process. I know in my heart of hearts that he will never leave me or forsake me. And I am looking forward to more surprises from his pockets full of glorious splendor. Thanks for listening. Caro
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